Attention
The benefits of going through these questions are that they will help you to express your feelings about your child's lack of attention, and to take a much broader perspective by remembering times when they did pay attention. A secondary benefit is when you notice what they're paying attention to, you figure out what their interests are and you can then work to build on those interests. The word interest is defined as attentiveness and undivided attention. Interest and attention are the same thing.
Forgetfulness
The benefits of this bonding exercise are that it will help you to build your child's confidence by remembering their past successes. The benefits of going through these simple questions are that it will help you become aware of your self-talk. If your self-talk is negative the questions that follow will help you change what you say to yourself and to your child. You'll be asked to notice your feelings and research shows that noting and using words for emotions helps to manage them.
Procrastination
The benefits of this bonding exercise are that it will help you identify self-doubt in your child as a cause of procrastination. You can increase flexible thinking by helping your child build their self-confidence. It can be as simple as saying “just get started one step at a time.” As you manage your own frustration and anxiety you can increase positive interactions with your child.
Not Following Instructions
The benefits of this bonding exercise are that not following instructions may be related to creativity or leadership. If you can help your child feel significant you will be more likely to get behavior changes. Your connection to your child can be increased by working together to develop accommodations like visual reminders of instructions or other methods of supporting your child.
Disorganization
This bonding exercise will help you build flexible thinking by creating a goal for continuous improvement in organization. You may develop strategies such as how to break tasks into small steps to increase motivation to get started. As you reframe behavior as small improvements over time you may increase patience with the developmental challenges of building the skill of organization over time.
Loses Things
The benefits of this bonding exercise is to help you overcome the negativity bias by finding positive traits that may lead to losing things, such as daydreaming, or emotional sensitivity. You will also have a chance to be mindful of your own stress and list ways to take care of yourself to handle these situations in more helpful ways. Try taking a pause and taking a few calming breaths.
Loud & Noisy
The benefits of this bonding session may help you shift from negative rumination to uplifting and empowering interactions with your child. When you take the observer position and tell your child you notice they’re being loud and then leave the room you give them the chance to manage their volume while you take a break and note your emotions.
Won’t Sit Still
The benefits of this bonding session will be guidance to pivot from embarrassment or anxiety to compassion for your child. You can take a different path from reactivity to reflection. You can notice how high energy can depend on the settings, it can cause trouble in the classroom but create success in other settings such as sports or play.
Fidgeting
The benefits of this bonding session are that it may offer a reframe on fidgeting and create a new narrative by recalling times you were proud of your child. You can take a new path toward understanding what your child needs and find workable solutions. You can look for solutions rather than problems to stay connected to your child.
Talks Too Much
The benefit of this bonding session is to get to the root cause of your concern for your child talking too much. Many times you are solving a surface problem that reflects deeper fears. You can also reframe this symptom that may help your child make friends easily, grow up to be a persuasive leader or who shows transparency in their communication. Finding positive aspects of a symptom is building your flexible thinking.
Interrupts
The benefit of this bonding exercise is that it can protect your child from thinking their behavior is a negative, defining aspect of who they are. If they can see the triggers for interrupting as situational they can be more motivated to learn to set goals for how to handle those situations. This can protect them from a negative self image and empower them to set goals to act differently.
Won’t Wait Turn
The benefit of this bonding exercise is to help you find positives even when facing disruptive behavior, such as not waiting their turn. This is like changing the channel from a negative emotion to a positive emotion. By asking what you are grateful for in your child you will feel more positive, take a broader perspective and that can strengthen your bond to your child.