Box Breath 4x4
Inhale 4… hold 4… exhale 4… hold 4. Repeat once. Let your shoulders drop.
Close the Loop
When you catch yourself doom-scrolling, gently say: “I choose to close this loop.” Lock your phone. Take one breath.
Ride the Wave
Emotions rise like waves. Instead of resisting, ride them. This practice trains you to observe without being overwhelmed.
Self care your needs
Self-care can mean turning down social invitations. Give yourself permission to put your needs first.
Discernment
Use discernment in your words. You can say what’s on your mind; you don’t have to say everything.
Resources
To get started when you don’t feel like it, shift your focus to your resourcefulness and resources rather than self-doubt.
Ask for help
Set a goal to ask for help today. It may be outside your comfort zone—try stepping out anyway.
Something better
When the unexpected occurs, think of it as a plot twist on the path to something or someone better for you.
Short moments
What if you practiced what Tibetan master Tsoknyi Rinpoche calls "Short moments many times"? Even if it’s a brief pause, you can press the reset button, by small chunks of living in the now.
Physiological Sigh
Take a short inhale… another quick top-up inhale… then a long slow exhale. Do it one more time.
Ask costs
Reflect on the downsides: “What are the costs of my online habits?” Think about how they affect your time, mood, and productivity.
Different ways
Flexible thinking means being able to come up with many different ways to solve a problem, often by broadening your perspective.
Past successes
Give yourself permission to dwell in your past successes.
Self care your needs
Self-care can mean turning down social invitations. Give yourself permission to put your needs first.
Compare to others
When you compare yourself to others, you can label it “unhelpful” or use others' success as inspiration.
Change how you see this
Ask yourself, “How can I use flexible thinking to change how I see this?”
Hope for the future
Find five reasons to have hope for the future
Mini-mindfulness
Mini-mindfulness may mean taking a one-minute break each hour to observe your thoughts and emotions.
4-6 Calm Breath
Inhale 4… exhale 6. Longer exhale tells your body: you’re safe. Repeat twice.
Time wasters
Label social media and video games as “time wasters” without self-criticism or judgment. Recognize them for what they are.
Ambivalent
Use precise language to describe your feelings. Recognizing emotions like “ambivalence” helps you understand complex experiences better.
Change how you see this
Ask yourself, “How can I use flexible thinking to change how I see this?
Past successes
Give yourself permission to dwell in your past successes.
You deserve
When you don’t get something you hoped for, tell yourself, “You deserve something better.”
Small efforts progress
Small efforts repeated over time add up to progress, not perfection.
relationship with frustration
How does it feel when someone says to you, “I’m here for you,” or they say “good job” or “you got this”? Think about how positive encouragement can change how we parent ADHD kids or talk to ourselves through daily stumbles.
Rays of sun
Many people who struggle with mindfulness benefit from using visual images that quiet inner chatter. Try imagining seeing rays of sun shining on you through the leaves of a tree warming your face.
Contain emotions
More precise words for emotions help you regulate them. When you feel shame, is it a feeling of embarrassment, distress, or anguish? The right words can contain emotions.
Small efforts progress
Small efforts repeated over time add up to progress, not perfection.
What do I need
Ask yourself, “What do I need?” instead of criticizing yourself.
Plan fall apart
When your plans fall apart, pause, get quiet, and ask what the next steps are for you.
Write something
Have to write something? Try this: 1. Speech to text brain dump, 2. Edit, 3. Review for content, 4. Get feedback.
Be an encourager
Be an encourager. You want other people to get their goals too. They will help create a better world for you and your loved ones to live in.
Placid lake
Guided imagery can shift your mood and give you a broader perspective. Imagine looking over a placid blue lake and hearing a fountain in the lake splashing as the sun reflects off the water falling into the lake.
Golf channel
Remember, you always have the power to "change the channel" when you catch yourself in unproductive activities, just like switching off a TV program you don't enjoy.
Passive assertive
Instead of being passive-aggressive, try being passive assertive. State clearly what you prefer and be flexible with how others respond.
What do I need
Ask yourself, “What do I need?” instead of criticizing yourself.
Am I ok?
Practice self-compassion by asking yourself, “Am I okay?”
Learning curve
When you make a mistake, tell yourself, “This is part of being on the learning curve.”
Where to start
Don’t know where to start? Try this: 1. Ask “Does this need to be done today?” 2. Does this need to be done by me? 3. Do I need to ask for help?
Balcony
Slow down and focus on your breath. Imagine yourself on a balcony observing yourself. As you imagine viewing yourself about to begin a self-defeating habit, what would you like to say to yourself?
Connected to the world
Use visual images to create a new mood. Imagine lying on your back on a green field, watching the sunrise over a green mountain. Do you feel hopeful, bright, accepting, or connected to the world?
Crowd out
Instead of spending time on your phone, fill your day with alternative activities, like sports, hobbies, or learning something new.
Exposure therapy
Overcome your fear of rejection by intentionally seeking it out. Exposure to rejection helps reduce the anxiety surrounding it.
Something better
When the unexpected occurs, think of it as a plot twist on the path to something or someone better for you.
Felt appreciated
Remember a time you felt appreciated. Stay with that feeling and use it as a resource when you are feeling down.
What you have control over
Ask yourself, “What do I have control over?” Stop blaming yourself for what you cannot control.
Disney begin doing
Walt Disney said, “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”
Heros journey
When you set a goal, you are setting out on a hero’s journey. You will depart from your ordinary world, confront crises, overcome ordeals, then return to your starting place transformed.
Blooming fully
Imagine walking in a rose garden and smelling a bright yellow rose. Feel a rosy cheerful mood and imagine your goals blooming fully.
Ask yourself benefits
Ask yourself, “What are the benefits of my online activities?” Consider if they truly add value or bring you joy.
Possible solutions
Throughout your day, ask yourself, “Can I control this?” If there’s a problem you can control, shift your focus to brainstorming possible solutions.
Resources
To get started when you don’t feel like it, shift your focus to your resourcefulness and resources rather than self-doubt.
Open to receive
Give yourself permission to feel appreciated by your partner, friends, and family. Don’t brush them off. Open to receive those feelings, breathe them in, savor them, and stay with them.
Very well
If you get dealt a “bad hand,” commit to playing the hand very well.
Growth mindset relationships
Apply a growth mindset to your relationships. Plant seeds of encouragement, add value to others’ lives, create laughter, and share memories.
Strength for hardship
You build determination by being tested on the hero’s journey to get your goals. The more hardship you face, the greater inner strength you build.
Foot on the brake
If you are feeling out of control, imagine yourself in a car at the driver’s wheel, with your foot on the brake, in control and ready to stop as needed.
Delay the Click
Before opening that notification, wait three seconds. Ask: “Is this urgent or just noise?
Closer to a solution
When anxious about something happening, ask yourself, “If that happens, then what?” Keep asking until you find an aspect you can control and act on.
Discernment
Use discernment in your words. You can say what’s on your mind; you don’t have to say everything.
Happy state of mind
Give yourself permission for pleasure. You don’t need to earn it through hard work; a happy state of mind creates success.
Calm and ease
When you are feeling bored, tell yourself, “This is a sense of calm and ease.”
Invest in yourself
Invest in yourself. If you had a penny and doubled it every day for thirty days, you would have over 5 million dollars. If you make small investments in yourself every day and build on those, incredible things can happen.
Mysterious step
A seeming wrong turn could be a mysterious step you need to take to get where you are going.
Purpose in the universe
When your future plans fall apart, ask, “What is my purpose in this universe?” Reconnect with a larger meaning or mission.
Compare to others
When you compare yourself to others, you can label it “unhelpful” or use others' success as inspiration.
Seemingly
When you feel jealous of someone, think about what makes you jealous and add the word “seemingly.” All of us have things we hide - worries, regrets, painful memories, shame, and heartbreaking losses.
First step
When you feel self-doubt, ask yourself, “What’s the first step?”
Take a breather
Discovery is a process—you don’t have to know all the answers right now. Listen, you are far more capable than you ever thought. Take a breather.
Expect to face
Many times we don’t finish tasks because we hit a bump in the road. Some people even tell themselves that the obstacles they face are a sign that “it wasn’t meant to be.” One way around this is to predict obstacles you expect to face.
Outside comfort zone
Weigh the risks by asking, “What are the benefits and costs of taking this risk?” before stepping out of your comfort zone.
Ask for help
Set a goal to ask for help today. It may be outside your comfort zone—try stepping out anyway.
Unmet needs
When you feel tired and depressed, ask yourself, “What do I need?” Identify unmet needs, go for a walk, rest for a while, connect with others, and be patient with yourself.
Choose your emotions
Don’t get caught in the trap of comparing your darkest moments to others' greatest wins. Choose what you focus on. That choice will determine your emotions.
Overcome obstacle
Think of a goal you have. Identify the obstacle and create a plan to overcome the obstacle.
Move forward
Don’t stop moving forward because you hit an obstacle. This is the time you can create a plan A, plan B, and plan C
Time to rest
When worries or comparisons take over, engage in activities you love and allow yourself time to rest.
Proud compassion
When you are criticizing yourself, practice “opposite action”. Allow yourself to remember times you felt the most proud and try out self-compassion
Just get started
Notice that you can’t be good at something until you practice it. The more you practice, the more you perfect your craft.
Plan to start
To build flexible thinking, think of stepping-stones. If you don’t want to get started, create a plan to get started.
Prepare for obstacles
If you remember that predicting obstacles allows you to prepare for them, you will stop looking for the obstacle-free path.
Fear of the future
If you struggle with fear of the future, ask yourself, “How can I feel more comfortable with uncertainty?”
Choose art
Find time for healthy pleasure each day—art, music, journaling, or prayer.
Rocket fuel
Even if you fall short of achieving a goal, you can gain confidence and practice. When you work toward a goal, you start new behaviors and stop self-defeating behaviors. The secret of goal setting is that it is rocket fuel for behavior change—even if you don’t achieve your goal.
Try it out
Start where you are now. We usually don’t know if something works until we try it out. Thinking in terms of stepping-stones can help you overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed.
flexible thinking problems
Use flexible thinking to solve problems rather than use substances to manage the mood caused by those problems.
Limiting beliefs
Challenge your limiting beliefs. Ask yourself, “What advice would my future self give me?” or “What would I say to a friend with similar beliefs?”
Ask for strengths
Ask three people you are close to what they see as your greatest strengths. Write those strengths down and list examples of times you used those strengths.
Know yourself
Instead of comparing yourself to others on social media, try to gain self-insight. Aristotle said it best: “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
Open up
Realize with each step, a new path you never thought of before may open up for you.
Stress feel better
If your problem is stress, try exercise, mindfulness, deep breathing tools, and social connection. Ask yourself, “How can I make myself feel better?”
Pat on back
Immediately after a success or a step of progress, celebrate your success with a pat on the back. Go ahead and actually pat your back.
Aspire to be
There will always be people ahead of you and people behind you. Try to anchor yourself in who you are and who you aspire to be.
Believable
When using positive affirmations, try saying, “I am loving feeling confident and optimistic.” If you did feel that way, you would love it, so it’s more believable.
More than capable
When the stuff hits the fan, pause, breathe in through your nose into your belly. Tell yourself, “I am more than capable of handling this.”
What you need next
How hard is it for you to give yourself self-care? Take time out to figure out what you need next.
Recharge
Words matter. They create real-world results. Notice how you feel when you call yourself lazy versus recharging or restoring your energy.
Unwanted broadcasts
When you have obsessive negative thoughts, visualize multiple TVs that you can turn off with a remote control. Imagine yourself turning off the unwanted broadcasts.
Good enough
If someone you loved felt “not good enough,” what would you say to them? Say this to yourself when you don’t feel good enough.
Three steps
When you feel lost, take a broader perspective: list what you are grateful for, past successes, and label emotions that you feel.
Be decisive
Practice being decisive in low-stakes situations. Should you get a membership for the gym or join the hiking group? Make a decision and notice how it feels to be determined, willful, and definitive.
Comforted
Remember a time a person you loved comforted you during a difficult time. Use this memory to soothe your emotions anytime you need it. Imagine you can turn up the vividness of the memory and the intensity of the feelings of being comforted.
Confident and capable
Remember times you felt confident and capable; celebrate those memories and notice how your body feels when you celebrate yourself.
Turned out very well
Think of times in the past you worried about something, and things turned out very well. When you find yourself worrying, label it as “worrying” and remember one of these past successes you had worried about.
what ifs
When you feel fear created by “What ifs” about the future, tell yourself, “one day at a time.”
Resilient grit
When life is hard, use compassionate words in self-talk, such as “I am resilient” and “I have grit.”
Take that step
hen you can’t get started, ask yourself what the smallest possible step is. What do you need to take that step?
Reset button
Use the phrase “press the reset button” when you are obsessively looping. Think of the reasons you have for hope and all the good things already in your life.
Getting better
Replace self-criticism with self-celebration. If something goes poorly, tell yourself, “I’m practicing getting better.”
Support and rewards
When you need to increase attention to detail, ask yourself, “What do I need to complete this project?” Consider rest, support, and rewards.
This will take time
If you are frustrated with the time it takes to make changes in your life, tell yourself, “This will take time; I can improve in a slow and easy way.”
Uncertain future
When your future feels uncertain, say, “I can handle this feeling of uncertainty and stay with it.”
Improve mood
To improve your mood, take action to solve problems. If you are a student, find a tutor. If you are in a stressful work situation, set a goal to ask for help from a co-worker or supervisor.
Patience and persistance
When you are facing a problem, look for solutions and add patience and persistence.
Take actions anyway
Experiment with feeling self-doubt and taking action anyway. Notice what went right, what went wrong, and what skills you need to build.
Desire and values
To find motivation, connect with your internal desires and your values and compare that motivation to approval seeking.
Show up fully
What would it be like to show up fully? Would you be more powerful, would you let yourself be bigger? What does bigger mean to you?
Your work noise
Before you begin a task, rate how hard or easy it is on a scale of 1-10. When you complete it, rate how hard or easy it was on a scale of 1-10. Gain clarity about how accurate your level of resistance is to the work you have to complete.